how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
