Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
