the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
