A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
