Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
