I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
