she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Randomize
