Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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