he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
