my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
