I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
