How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
