My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
