I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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