I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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