Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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