so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
