My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
