yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
