the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
