Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
FUCK WHALES
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
