D3 body, D1 cock
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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