I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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