Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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