3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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