he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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