I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
