I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
