Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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