READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
