she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
