Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I believe in your delicious
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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