I am puke
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
