i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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