Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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