I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so that wasnt chicken after all
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
