okay pat passed out under dana's car
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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