I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm at about main and main street
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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