I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
