You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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