Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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