I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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