and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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