guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
