Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You did what with his pubic hair?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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