He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
