had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
