Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
