My nipple is on Facebook.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
