Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
